The Dash
How will you spend yours?
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Intro
As an avid reader and aspiring writer, I come across other writers I admire for a host of different reasons.
These include: Winston Churchill, Morgan Housel and Linda Ellis.
Churchill, for his turn of phrase and compelling speech writing skills (his wartime speeches were said to be worth ‘a thousand regiments’ for their ability to inspire… you can read them 80 years later and still feel compelled to action!).
Housel, for his ability to explain human behaviour through engaging stories and anecdotes.
And Ellis, for writing The Dash poem.
I’m not typically one to be envious; however, I would’ve rather liked to have written The Dash poem (I’ll explain why later on in the article).
And Housel’s book ‘The Psychology of Money’… which has sold over 5 million copies… so I’m sure I’m not alone with that wish!
Enjoy.
The Dash
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own --
the cars...the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more,
and love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read
with your life's actions to rehash,
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?Linda Ellis
Check out the sequel to this poem, Live your Dash, and her other work here.
Why?
For many, remaining blissfully ignorant of death isn’t only preferable, it’s relatively easy - as one’s thoughts are generally consumed with daily life, family, and work.
However, as a Financial Planner, it’s impossible for me to ignore our innate mortality.
Like a tombstone, a financial plan has a beginning date, so it must also have an end.
We spend our time working to ensuring our clients have enough money to enjoy their ‘dash’ and, as you can imagine, ensuring their families are taken care of when their ‘dash’ reaches its natural conclusion.
I sometimes forget that regularly contemplating death isn’t normal; but I’m certain we’d all be better off if it was!
I do, however, appreciate that telling people ‘remember, you, and everyone you love, are going to die’ may not be the best way to promote the idea.
It doesn’t quite have the right ring to it…
Remember, you, and everyone you love, are going to die.
Tom Redmayne (not-a-soon-to-be-award-winning-poet)
Enter The Dash poem.
Poems and anecdotes like The Dash are a gentle way of reminding us about what is truly important and Ellis does it so well.
Your Dash
Contemplating your own ‘dash’ may be scary at first; but, in time, it’ll eventually feel invigorating and help highlight what is truly important to you - as once you accept your time is limited, it becomes easier to discard the unimportant.
It may help you to create meaning and purpose in your life.
It may, hopefully, allow you to put aside any petty grievances and reconnect with estranged friends/family/associates.
It may even finally give you the push you need to sack off that awful job that you keep telling yourself you’re going to leave but never quite do because, well, it’s just comfortable enough to keep you there and you may hate yourself for staying but you do anyway and then one day you wake up to find you wasted your ‘dash’ working for people that didn’t even care about you and your knees ache and your back is bent funny from that stupid desk in the office that wasn’t quite the right height and now you’re staring down an uncertain future with nothing but regrets scattered across your rearview mirror, wondering why you never had the courage to truly live, until you finally arrive at that inevitable day when you reach the precipice of your existence and discover you can’t turn back. There is no rewind button. The secret illusion that you’ll be the one person to avoid death, that you’ve so dearly clung to, is finally shattered. The conveyor belt of life truly stops for no man. You can see where it ends. The abyss is fast approaching now. All those things you should’ve done. It’s too late. This is it. Regret.
The picture fades to black.
Scene.
If this Financial Planning thing doesn’t work out at least I know I can try my hand at motivational speaking…
Conclusion
Whilst dying is inevitable, it isn’t trivial.
The ripples of death are wide-reaching and touch many lives.
Grief is the natural consequence of having loved; it’s a response to having known and been a part of someone’s unique ‘dash’.
For each ‘dash’ is unique.
A one-off, miraculous moment in time never to be repeated.
An intimate moment, shared by a select few.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.
If there was no death, then there would be no life to grieve.
So, hold your loved ones close, be grateful your time on earth has overlapped with theirs, drop those petty grievances and don’t forget about your ‘dash’.
I’ll leave you with my favourite part from the poem:
For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.For it matters not, how much we own --
the cars...the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
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Thanks for reading,
Tom Redmayne
Cambridge-Based Financial Planner
The value of investments can go down in value as well as up, so you could get back less than you invest. It is therefore important that you understand the risks and commitments.
This is not personal advice based on your circumstances.
All views are my own.
Thanks for introducing me to The Dash Tom. A new one for me and so beautifully apposite